project zero.

Almost five years ago I took on a lofty project in an effort to overcome some serious emotional distress. Looking back on that time in my life with five more years of experience, what appeared to be rock bottom, huge and abysmal and life-altering, now seems like a tiny rut compared to the physical and emotional trauma I've been through in the past year.

I've recently been diagnosed with PTSD and PPD and my struggle coming to terms with the diagnosis and finally accepting that I need help to process and resolve these issues explains my recent absence. I'm sure I will delve into my journey in much more detail in the future as I attempt to find some sort of resolution, but for now I am reverting back to what was once a saving grace at a dark time in my life.

It is called Project Zero. The basic idea is to compile a list of 101 tasks within 1001 days. The tasks must be specific and either measurable or clearly defined, with no ambiguity in the wording (for example, "listen to 12 pieces by Mozart that I've never heard of" as opposed to "listen to more classical music"). They must also be realistic, though hopefully will push me beyond the boundaries of my current comfort zone (I probably won't realistically be able to ride in the Tour de France within the next three years, but I might be able to ride STP). 

If I learned anything from my last experience with this project, it is that it is highly unlikely that I will complete all 101 tasks. I am hoping to approach this time around with an open mind and full awareness that it is not accomplishing the tasks themselves that is important, but that the mindfulness of focusing on specific goals will direct my attention away from unhealthy thought processes.

I have appreciated all of your love and support with all of my endeavors, and this is no exception. I would love more than anything to hear your thoughts, your words of wisdom or encouragement, and your feedback throughout this journey.

Without further ado, the much anticipated list*, to be started today, October 1, 2013 and to be completed by Monday, June 27, 2016:

DAILY
1 Meditate
2 Take my vitamins
3 Drink enough water (my body weight divided by two in ounces, plus and additional one ounce per pound of baby while breastfeeding)

WEEKLY
4 Cuddle with my husband
5 Write and send a letter or a card
6 One comic drawn and posted
7 Write an inspirational quote on the kitchen chalkboard

MONTHLY
8 Read one book I've never read
9 Go on a date with my husband
10 Buy a lotto ticket
11 Buy one item of clothing or accessory
12 Go on a family hike
13 Prepare one new recipe

YEARLY
14 Do Bike MS
15 Have a potluck
16 Give blood

FOR ONE MONTH
17 Complete a month of thankfulness
18 Write down an idea for a greeting card every day for one month
19 No TV or movies for one month
20 No Facebook for one month
21 No processed foods for one month
22 No alcohol for one month
23 Go swimming 3x a week for one month
24 Go to bed before 10pm every day for one month
25 Read one poem every day for one month
26 Blog every day for one month
27 Eat meat for one month
28 Be vegan for one month
29 Eat gluten-free for one month
30 Find flute music and practice every day for one month
31 Keep the house entirely clean every day for one month

BODY, MIND & SOUL
32 Complete a meditation course
33 Complete 40 days to Personal Revolution
34 Do a three day juice cleanse (once the boys are weaned)
35 Complete Project Reconnect
36 Go through my wardrobe, get rid of the old & unused
37 Start the divine beings project
38 No technology or media whatsoever for one full day
39 Get a pedicure
40 Get a foot massage

TRAVEL
41 Go to Alaska 
42 Go to Italy
43 Touch a new continent (South America!)
44 Visit every park in Seattle
45 Visit A & J in San Francisco
46 Visit K in Iowa
47 Go on a two-day vacation by myself

FOOD & DRINK
48 Go wine tasting
49 Buy & enjoy an expensive bottle of wine 
50 Can something
51 Make my own cheese
52 Make a meal using only local ingredients
53 Make 10 different types of homemade bread 
54 Acquire 10 bottles of spirits and start a liquor cabinet
55 Try 10 new foods I've never tried before
56 Eat at 10 local restaurants I've never been to

LEARNING
57 Complete the application for MIT at UW
58 Complete my MIT
59 Become certified as a translator/interpreter
60 Join or create a bookclub
61 Read 10 parenting books

THE TWINS
62 Complete baby book for each boy
63 Plant the boys' placentas
64 Open savings accounts for the boys
65 Take a class with just Owen
66 Make each of my boys a stuffed animal
67 Make Halloween costumes for the boys

CRAFTS & CREATIVITY
68 Create an Etsy
69 Make & sell bibs
70 Get my own internet domain
71 Write a children's book
72 Publish something in a printed medium
73 Finish the knit patchwork blanket
74 Learn to crochet
75 Paint 10 paintings on canvas
76 Take a photography class
77 Find & develop all my old rolls of film
78 Learn photoshop
79 Print out copies of my favorite photos
80 Complete the color/food photo project

FUN
81 Go ice skating
82 Go camping at Larribee State Park
83 Go to a Sounder's game
84 Go fishing
85 Go mushroom picking
86 Cut my own Christmas tree

GET PHYSICAL 
87 Ride my bike to Lake Chelan
88 Ride RSVP
89 Ride STP
90 Run a half marathon
91 Go climbing
92 Go paddleboarding

FAMILY
93 Visit Point Defiance Zoo
94 Visit Mount Rainier
95 Visit Olympic National Park
96 Visit the grandparents in Sequim
97 Get professional photos of the family taken
98 Put together a homeopathic first aid kit
99 Have a wedding ceremony
100 Buy a house
101 Get pregnant again

*I reserve the right to alter, edit, replace or otherwise change tasks as I see fit throughout the course of this journey.

Let the games begin!