Showing posts with label twins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label twins. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
finding out you're pregnant with twins.
It was decided: we did not under any circumstances want to know the sex of the baby. This was a routine ultrasound to check and make sure my humongous belly did not mean our baby was truly a monster, but that did not mean we needed to know if it was a boy or a girl. We still wanted that surprise at the birth. We had been hoping the first time we saw our baby would be as it was born, but a healthy baby we'd seen on a sonogram was better than an unhealthy baby we'd be seeing for he first time on its due date.
As the technician squirted the jelly onto my abdomen we made her promise not to tell us the sex. I knew I would be able to tell if I saw, so I glanced at the screen to get a quick peek before shielding my eyes for the rest of the exam.
That's when I saw it. Two perfect little ovals. Two.
"Uhhhhmmmm," the technician started.
"What?!! What is it?" my husband panicked.
"There's two!!!" I shouted.
"Yes," continued the tech. "Here's Baby A's head." Click. She took a picture to send to the radiologist. She moved the wand from near my pelvis to up near my ribs. Click. "And up here is Baby B's head!"
My husband's jaw might as well have been on the ground. "I'm sorry, what?!!!!" he shouted after a long pause.
"You are having two babies," the tech continued. Click. As if to help him better understand, she rephrased. "You're having twins!" Click.
Long pause. Click. Click. Click.
"I'm sorry, what??!!!!"
We both were in complete disbelief. There was no good explanation for why there were two. I didn't fit any of the typical descriptions of mamas of multiples. We were in complete awe. We laughed. We cried. We asked the poor technician if she was sure about a thousand times.
"Does this ever happen?" I asked her. "Do people often find out they are having twins at five some odd months pregnant?"
She shook her head, still looking at the screen. "No," she said plainly. Click. "This almost never happens." Click. "Most everyone these days gets an ultrasound as soon as they find out they are pregnant." Click. "This is very, very rare."
My husband was very quiet for a long time, staring at the screen, trying desperately to understand. Finally he squeezed my hand and kissed my cheek. "I guess we just love each other so much we made two."
This is why I love my husband.
At this point, life had already dealt us the biggest surprise we would likely ever get. "Still sure you don't want to know the sexes?" the technician asked. Without a beat, my husband answered. "Tell us everything!!!" The boys were not shy. Even a blind man could have seen that they were definitely boys. No mistakes here.
Oh boy, I thought. I'm freaking surrounded. My dad had been cursed/blessed to be constantly surrounded by women. He had four daughters and it seemed every pet we owned was female, too. Now it was my turn to be the minority. Two male cats, my husband, and now two little boys. I was in for it good.
The most surprising part of the whole story is how unsurprised everyone else seemed to be when we broke the news. Every single person reacted as if they had known the entire time. We called my husband's parents immediately after leaving the radiologist and their reaction? "I told you." All of my friends and coworkers who joked about me having twins? "We told you so." The customers? "I knew it." It was as if the universe had been playing a big cosmic joke and everybody was in on it except for us.
As if to seal the deal, one of our chickens laid their very first egg not long after the ultrasound. As we cracked it into our cast iron pan that August morning, I almost peed myself. The egg had two yolks. Two freaking yolks. The universe could not have been more clear.
A dear friend from New York had the best reaction of them all. When I told her I was eating for three, instead of the previously assumed two, she replied quite simply. "Too much fertility tea." Indeed.
From that moment on life was a blur. We were suddenly extremely conscious of the fact that we were no where near prepared for having these babies. We weren't even prepared for one baby. We had bought exactly five things. A pair of overalls from Finland, a stuffed rabbit from France, and three books. No crib. No clothes. No diapers, no bottles, no car seats, no strollers, no nothing. We had assumed that we still had all the time in the world. We still had nineteen weeks to go until our due date! But we quickly learned that being pregnant with two babies meant they could potentially come months in advance, cutting the time we had left in half.
We had our work cut out for us.
As the technician squirted the jelly onto my abdomen we made her promise not to tell us the sex. I knew I would be able to tell if I saw, so I glanced at the screen to get a quick peek before shielding my eyes for the rest of the exam.
That's when I saw it. Two perfect little ovals. Two.
"Uhhhhmmmm," the technician started.
"What?!! What is it?" my husband panicked.
"There's two!!!" I shouted.
"Yes," continued the tech. "Here's Baby A's head." Click. She took a picture to send to the radiologist. She moved the wand from near my pelvis to up near my ribs. Click. "And up here is Baby B's head!"
My husband's jaw might as well have been on the ground. "I'm sorry, what?!!!!" he shouted after a long pause.
"You are having two babies," the tech continued. Click. As if to help him better understand, she rephrased. "You're having twins!" Click.
Long pause. Click. Click. Click.
"I'm sorry, what??!!!!"
We both were in complete disbelief. There was no good explanation for why there were two. I didn't fit any of the typical descriptions of mamas of multiples. We were in complete awe. We laughed. We cried. We asked the poor technician if she was sure about a thousand times.
"Does this ever happen?" I asked her. "Do people often find out they are having twins at five some odd months pregnant?"
She shook her head, still looking at the screen. "No," she said plainly. Click. "This almost never happens." Click. "Most everyone these days gets an ultrasound as soon as they find out they are pregnant." Click. "This is very, very rare."
My husband was very quiet for a long time, staring at the screen, trying desperately to understand. Finally he squeezed my hand and kissed my cheek. "I guess we just love each other so much we made two."
This is why I love my husband.
At this point, life had already dealt us the biggest surprise we would likely ever get. "Still sure you don't want to know the sexes?" the technician asked. Without a beat, my husband answered. "Tell us everything!!!" The boys were not shy. Even a blind man could have seen that they were definitely boys. No mistakes here.
Oh boy, I thought. I'm freaking surrounded. My dad had been cursed/blessed to be constantly surrounded by women. He had four daughters and it seemed every pet we owned was female, too. Now it was my turn to be the minority. Two male cats, my husband, and now two little boys. I was in for it good.
The most surprising part of the whole story is how unsurprised everyone else seemed to be when we broke the news. Every single person reacted as if they had known the entire time. We called my husband's parents immediately after leaving the radiologist and their reaction? "I told you." All of my friends and coworkers who joked about me having twins? "We told you so." The customers? "I knew it." It was as if the universe had been playing a big cosmic joke and everybody was in on it except for us.
As if to seal the deal, one of our chickens laid their very first egg not long after the ultrasound. As we cracked it into our cast iron pan that August morning, I almost peed myself. The egg had two yolks. Two freaking yolks. The universe could not have been more clear.
A dear friend from New York had the best reaction of them all. When I told her I was eating for three, instead of the previously assumed two, she replied quite simply. "Too much fertility tea." Indeed.
From that moment on life was a blur. We were suddenly extremely conscious of the fact that we were no where near prepared for having these babies. We weren't even prepared for one baby. We had bought exactly five things. A pair of overalls from Finland, a stuffed rabbit from France, and three books. No crib. No clothes. No diapers, no bottles, no car seats, no strollers, no nothing. We had assumed that we still had all the time in the world. We still had nineteen weeks to go until our due date! But we quickly learned that being pregnant with two babies meant they could potentially come months in advance, cutting the time we had left in half.
We had our work cut out for us.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
you're having twins.
This being my first pregnancy and all, most of the time I didn't know any better. No one can ever experience pregnancy from anyone else's perspective, but in hindsight there were some signs (ok, sign after sign after sign) that something extraordinary was brewing. I had never done this before. I had nothing to compare it to.
Apparently everyone else knew before I did.
Sign number one was the very first sign I was pregnant. Our very independent French cat, Tippen, who immigrated all the way from rural France with my husband and I, has never ever been a cuddly lap cat. He is a hunter, happy to spend hour after hour stalking birds and mice and other cats and racoons and cars through the tall grass of our overgrown yard. All of a sudden, come the beginning of April, he started rubbing up on my legs, purring wildly and "making biscuits" as a wonderful friend so endearingly describes it, while trying to find a comfortable spot on my lap. At first I thought it meant we had found the perfect house. We both had agreed the second we stepped through the front door that the whole property had incredible energy. You could just tell there had been a lot of love living under this roof for a whole lot of years. It was infectious and we soon fell in love with the house as much as we were in love with each other. I thought love had drugged our cats, too. Turns out it was hormones. Lots of hormones. Maybe I should have paid more attention to what Tippen was trying to tell me...
Sign number two was the pregnancy test. The friend who consoled me that April morning was right - it is the darkest freaking pregnancy test line ever. I still have it and the other one (why did I take two and not the three provided in the box?) wrapped up in a plastic baggie in my medicine cabinet and it is pink. I figured it meant I was really pregnant. The egg had implanted. I was really fertile. Well, that's exactly what it meant. I was really fertile. Maybe I should have paid more attention to what my friend told me...
Sign number three was a dream. Not my dream, but my father-in-law's. When we first found out I was pregnant we decided that my husband's family, being so far away on the other side of the globe in France, would be the first to know. They would be missing so much of baby's life with us living in the States, it was only fair. We called them as soon as we could and delivered the news. That night my husband's father had a dream. In it were two beautiful little boys, running, running towards him, always running. He called the next day to tell us. "You are having twins," he said. I laughed. "How ambitious of you!" I replied. "I think we're good with just the one for now." The thing is, he is not the type to have symbolic dreams or take stock in them, and even less the type to share them. Maybe I should have paid more attention to what my father-in-law was trying to tell me...
Sign number four was my instincts. I knew from the very beginning that I wanted a midwife. I was born in a midwifery, I loathed hospitals, and I trusted in my body. I wanted to find someone who trusted in me, too. We found a group of midwives locally who had a little midwifery not too far from our house. We walked hand-in-hand to our check-ups and often ran into the midwives at the local farmers market or co-op. It felt perfect. I was terrified something was going to go wrong and I wouldn't be able to deliver in their quaint little birthing room. One of the few reasons we would need to transfer elsewhere was if we were having twins. We weren't, so it wasn't an issue; I even asked them to check for two heartbeats at one of the appointments. "Do twins run in either of your families?" Nope. "Are you taking hormones of some sort?" Nope. Plus I wasn't over thirty-five, I wasn't obese, I didn't consume any dairy products (the hormones in dairy can sometimes cause women to over-ovulate, releasing more than one egg and resulting in multiples). I was pretty much the least likely candidate ever for having twins. I had a 0.06% chance. Still, they humored me and tried to find a second heartbeat. "It would be pretty hard to distinguish two separate heartbeats this early on," they told me. "But we can pretty confidently say you are not pregnant with twins." Still, in the back of my mind, one of the reasons I didn't want to get an ultrasound was if there were for some reason two babies in there, if we didn't get an ultrasound to find out for sure, they couldn't refuse me. We'd just go along with everything as planned and then after baby one came out they'd laugh, surprised, and out would come baby two. Do most people have these weird thoughts hidden in the back of their pregnant minds? I think not. Maybe I should have listened to what my instincts were trying to tell me...
Sign number five was my belly. It was growing at an alarming rate. My jeans stopped fitting before the nausea had even subsided. I was too big for a belly band to work around my old pants. The lady at the maternity store had told us whatever size you are before you get pregnant, that is the size maternity clothes that will fit. Not true. Of course I just assumed she didn't know what she was talking about. She did. When you're normally supposed to be gaining around a pound a week and you're gaining at least two, it's not the salesclerk at Motherhood Maternity who is in the wrong. And when your belly is supposed to be growing at about a centimeter a week and yours is five weeks ahead, you might have a serious problem. Maybe I should have listened to what my body was trying to tell me...
The last sign was every freaking other person in the entire world. I cannot tell you how many times upon divulging I was pregnant, even loooong before I was showing, I would be told, "Aw!!! Oh! You're having twins, I just know it!!" or "It's twins, I swear!" or "What if you were pregnant with twins?!" I asked the midwives if this was normal. "Is it a thing, when you're pregnant does everyone come up and touch your belly and tell you you're having twins?" They looked at each other. "Um, no." And yet that was my whole life as a pregnant lady. We had a friend staying with us for a few months right when I first got pregnant; he told me I was having twins. I thought he was joking until one of my best friends came to visit from Iowa and, a twin herself, they constantly bickered about whether I was having two boys or a boy and a girl. I had to constantly remind them there was only one baby in there. They both just shook their heads at my naivete. Another amazing friend, a friendly viking of a man, very seriously told me I was gestating two little monsters. Customer after customer at the deli where I worked informed me I was not with one child, but two. One kind woman who I could chat with for hours was so excited when I told her I was pregnant. Her only response? "It's twins!!!" she shouted, and skittered off smiling. Her husband came over to me in the wake of her energy. "She's psychic, you know." He leaned in closer to my scowl. "She tends to predict these things, and every time she's right." My co-workers joked about it; my friends joked about it; strangers joked about it. And every time I had to correct them politely. How funny, haha, how silly, what fun. "Unfortunately, there is only one baby in here," I would say. Maybe I should have listened to what every freaking person in the entire world was trying to tell me...
For someone who trusted her body, trusted her baby and had such faith in the universe, I was not very receptive to any of it. Maybe I should have opened my ears, opened my heart and opened my mind and just freaking listened to the universe...
Apparently everyone else knew before I did.
Sign number one was the very first sign I was pregnant. Our very independent French cat, Tippen, who immigrated all the way from rural France with my husband and I, has never ever been a cuddly lap cat. He is a hunter, happy to spend hour after hour stalking birds and mice and other cats and racoons and cars through the tall grass of our overgrown yard. All of a sudden, come the beginning of April, he started rubbing up on my legs, purring wildly and "making biscuits" as a wonderful friend so endearingly describes it, while trying to find a comfortable spot on my lap. At first I thought it meant we had found the perfect house. We both had agreed the second we stepped through the front door that the whole property had incredible energy. You could just tell there had been a lot of love living under this roof for a whole lot of years. It was infectious and we soon fell in love with the house as much as we were in love with each other. I thought love had drugged our cats, too. Turns out it was hormones. Lots of hormones. Maybe I should have paid more attention to what Tippen was trying to tell me...
Sign number two was the pregnancy test. The friend who consoled me that April morning was right - it is the darkest freaking pregnancy test line ever. I still have it and the other one (why did I take two and not the three provided in the box?) wrapped up in a plastic baggie in my medicine cabinet and it is pink. I figured it meant I was really pregnant. The egg had implanted. I was really fertile. Well, that's exactly what it meant. I was really fertile. Maybe I should have paid more attention to what my friend told me...
Sign number three was a dream. Not my dream, but my father-in-law's. When we first found out I was pregnant we decided that my husband's family, being so far away on the other side of the globe in France, would be the first to know. They would be missing so much of baby's life with us living in the States, it was only fair. We called them as soon as we could and delivered the news. That night my husband's father had a dream. In it were two beautiful little boys, running, running towards him, always running. He called the next day to tell us. "You are having twins," he said. I laughed. "How ambitious of you!" I replied. "I think we're good with just the one for now." The thing is, he is not the type to have symbolic dreams or take stock in them, and even less the type to share them. Maybe I should have paid more attention to what my father-in-law was trying to tell me...
Sign number four was my instincts. I knew from the very beginning that I wanted a midwife. I was born in a midwifery, I loathed hospitals, and I trusted in my body. I wanted to find someone who trusted in me, too. We found a group of midwives locally who had a little midwifery not too far from our house. We walked hand-in-hand to our check-ups and often ran into the midwives at the local farmers market or co-op. It felt perfect. I was terrified something was going to go wrong and I wouldn't be able to deliver in their quaint little birthing room. One of the few reasons we would need to transfer elsewhere was if we were having twins. We weren't, so it wasn't an issue; I even asked them to check for two heartbeats at one of the appointments. "Do twins run in either of your families?" Nope. "Are you taking hormones of some sort?" Nope. Plus I wasn't over thirty-five, I wasn't obese, I didn't consume any dairy products (the hormones in dairy can sometimes cause women to over-ovulate, releasing more than one egg and resulting in multiples). I was pretty much the least likely candidate ever for having twins. I had a 0.06% chance. Still, they humored me and tried to find a second heartbeat. "It would be pretty hard to distinguish two separate heartbeats this early on," they told me. "But we can pretty confidently say you are not pregnant with twins." Still, in the back of my mind, one of the reasons I didn't want to get an ultrasound was if there were for some reason two babies in there, if we didn't get an ultrasound to find out for sure, they couldn't refuse me. We'd just go along with everything as planned and then after baby one came out they'd laugh, surprised, and out would come baby two. Do most people have these weird thoughts hidden in the back of their pregnant minds? I think not. Maybe I should have listened to what my instincts were trying to tell me...
Sign number five was my belly. It was growing at an alarming rate. My jeans stopped fitting before the nausea had even subsided. I was too big for a belly band to work around my old pants. The lady at the maternity store had told us whatever size you are before you get pregnant, that is the size maternity clothes that will fit. Not true. Of course I just assumed she didn't know what she was talking about. She did. When you're normally supposed to be gaining around a pound a week and you're gaining at least two, it's not the salesclerk at Motherhood Maternity who is in the wrong. And when your belly is supposed to be growing at about a centimeter a week and yours is five weeks ahead, you might have a serious problem. Maybe I should have listened to what my body was trying to tell me...
The last sign was every freaking other person in the entire world. I cannot tell you how many times upon divulging I was pregnant, even loooong before I was showing, I would be told, "Aw!!! Oh! You're having twins, I just know it!!" or "It's twins, I swear!" or "What if you were pregnant with twins?!" I asked the midwives if this was normal. "Is it a thing, when you're pregnant does everyone come up and touch your belly and tell you you're having twins?" They looked at each other. "Um, no." And yet that was my whole life as a pregnant lady. We had a friend staying with us for a few months right when I first got pregnant; he told me I was having twins. I thought he was joking until one of my best friends came to visit from Iowa and, a twin herself, they constantly bickered about whether I was having two boys or a boy and a girl. I had to constantly remind them there was only one baby in there. They both just shook their heads at my naivete. Another amazing friend, a friendly viking of a man, very seriously told me I was gestating two little monsters. Customer after customer at the deli where I worked informed me I was not with one child, but two. One kind woman who I could chat with for hours was so excited when I told her I was pregnant. Her only response? "It's twins!!!" she shouted, and skittered off smiling. Her husband came over to me in the wake of her energy. "She's psychic, you know." He leaned in closer to my scowl. "She tends to predict these things, and every time she's right." My co-workers joked about it; my friends joked about it; strangers joked about it. And every time I had to correct them politely. How funny, haha, how silly, what fun. "Unfortunately, there is only one baby in here," I would say. Maybe I should have listened to what every freaking person in the entire world was trying to tell me...
For someone who trusted her body, trusted her baby and had such faith in the universe, I was not very receptive to any of it. Maybe I should have opened my ears, opened my heart and opened my mind and just freaking listened to the universe...
Monday, April 29, 2013
twice the love.
A friend of a friend recently found out she is pregnant with twins, and I was asked for advice. I am far from an expert. I am just doing the best I can, and I don't know any better. But there are a few things I wish I had heard before giving birth, and there are a few things I did hear that any woman who is pregnant with twins should hear.
This just my two cents. Any and all mamas of multiples, please add to this rambly list any sage words of wisdom of your own.
Just breathe. It seems like a lot - it is. Get over it. Have your freak out and then don't focus too much on it because too much thinking is overwhelming.
Start making lists, and get everything you'd like to get done in the next five years done before 30 weeks. You will not have time for anything other than babies when they are here, and after 30 weeks you will be comically huge, making cleaning and driving and other daily tasks hard to do.
Just because you are pregnant with twins doesn't automatically mean you have a high risk pregnancy. Birth is messy, and twice the babies can mean twice the messiness, but also twice as many heartbeats and kicks and hiccups. Enjoy it- you will probably never be pregnant with twins ever again!
Eat. Eat eat eat while you can. Because once they come out you will need to eat even more to keep your milk supply up, but you won't have time to eat, so eat now. And drink. At least a gallon a day, MINIMUM! Stay active. Twice the babies to push out means you need to be twice as strong. You can do it!
They say the first one paves the way and the second one just falls out. In my case, pretty damn close to the truth.
Try as hard as you can to push for a vaginal birth. It is amazing to be able to know you have pushed two people out of you all by yourself.
Delegate in advance. You will need someone with you at ALL times 24/7 for at least the first month, optimally six weeks. This is not an exaggeration. Line up family and friends, set up a care calendar, and delegate someone other than you to manage it after the babies are here. Let them prepare meals, do laundry, clean up stuff. Whenever you can, delegate.
Do not be afraid to ask for help. If you don't tell people what you need, they can't offer assistance. People WANT to help you. Let them.
Have a lactation specialist lined up before you give birth to help you immediately. Breast feeding is hard work, more than doubly so with two. But it is also more than doubly rewarding. It is not impossible to exclusively breast feed twins, but you need to be dedicated. Surround yourself with people who support you. If you can get it down from the start it is waaaay easier and less time consuming than preparing bottles all the time. Tandem feeding seems impossible at first - it's not. It is possible and it is freaking amazing. We have two boobs for a reason.
Do what works for you. Take advice with a grain if salt, especially from singleton parents. All babies are different, and all combos of twins are different. What might work for my boys might not work for yours and that's ok. You'll figure it out. That's what moms do.
Invest in a hospital-grade electric breast pump. You will need it. The Medela Symphony is a pretty standard choice. You can rent them, too. And get a pumping bra. Being able to pump with your hands free is essential with two babies to take care of. It looks freaky, but trust me. You will use it every day.
My boys are only four months so I'm still in the thick of it, but I have been told the first year is hell, but then it's way easier with two because they always have someone to keep them company. I can already see this. Trying to soothe two crying babies is incredibly stressful, but hearing two babies giggle, seeing two babies look at each other and babble and hold hands is the most precious thing ever. Twins are a very very special thing. Not everyone gets to experience it. Embrace it.
Your babies will always have someone rooting for them. They will always have someone looking out for them. They have a best friend from birth, from before birth! They have something that not a lot of people have and you gave it to them. One of my best friends is a twin and she told me by giving them each other I am giving them the best gift a mother can give. Be proud.
The absolute best piece of advice I received, which I wish I had really followed: spend as much time with your partner now, while the babies are safe and sound and quietly snuggled up inside you. Once they're here you and your partner will both always have a baby in your arms. The first few months all communication will revolve around babies so talk about other things now. Go out to eat, make out, watch movies, take walks just the two of you holding hands instead of a stroller, say "I love you" and mean it, do absolutely nothing, go to the zoo, cuddle and HAVE SEX! As much sex as you possibly can. Seriously.
Don't always put them in matching outfits. Encourage them to be their own person. But sometimes do put them in matching outfits. They are twins - encourage them to enjoy it. Plus it is adorable.
Some days you will feel like you love one more than the other. You don't. But it's ok to feel that way.
Some days they will feel like they love you or your partner more than the other. They don't. But it's ok for them to feel that way.
The most comforting words came from two different people right after we found out (at 21 weeks!!!). One told me she believed we choose our biggest challenges in life before we are born and that I must be a very strong woman for having chosen twins. I'm not sure I believe I chose this per se, but I do believe life doesn't ever give us more than we can handle, even if it sometimes seems that way. We always manage to rise to the occasion.
The second person was from Ghana. He told me where he comes from they say God takes a long look at your heart before you become pregnant. He said I must have an incredibly good heart to be blessed with two babies at once. I'm not religious, but I'd like to hope he was right.
Your heart will grow two sizes too big every damn day. Sometimes it will feel like too much love, and you will cry. Sometimes they will cry and you won't be able to figure out what's wrong and your heart will fall crooked, and it will feel like too much hurt, and you will cry. Don't worry, you will wake up the next morning (ok, at 3am, and then again at 5 and finally 6:30) and it will be right again, swollen a little bigger with love and pulsing strong in your chest. It will feel like too much love again, and you will cry. It seems like a lot - it is. Just breathe.
Trust your body. Trust your babies. Have faith in the universe. You are the exact right parent for these two new little people, and you can do this. And you will.
Welcome to the club. ;)
This just my two cents. Any and all mamas of multiples, please add to this rambly list any sage words of wisdom of your own.
Just breathe. It seems like a lot - it is. Get over it. Have your freak out and then don't focus too much on it because too much thinking is overwhelming.
Start making lists, and get everything you'd like to get done in the next five years done before 30 weeks. You will not have time for anything other than babies when they are here, and after 30 weeks you will be comically huge, making cleaning and driving and other daily tasks hard to do.
Just because you are pregnant with twins doesn't automatically mean you have a high risk pregnancy. Birth is messy, and twice the babies can mean twice the messiness, but also twice as many heartbeats and kicks and hiccups. Enjoy it- you will probably never be pregnant with twins ever again!
Eat. Eat eat eat while you can. Because once they come out you will need to eat even more to keep your milk supply up, but you won't have time to eat, so eat now. And drink. At least a gallon a day, MINIMUM! Stay active. Twice the babies to push out means you need to be twice as strong. You can do it!
They say the first one paves the way and the second one just falls out. In my case, pretty damn close to the truth.
Try as hard as you can to push for a vaginal birth. It is amazing to be able to know you have pushed two people out of you all by yourself.
Delegate in advance. You will need someone with you at ALL times 24/7 for at least the first month, optimally six weeks. This is not an exaggeration. Line up family and friends, set up a care calendar, and delegate someone other than you to manage it after the babies are here. Let them prepare meals, do laundry, clean up stuff. Whenever you can, delegate.
Do not be afraid to ask for help. If you don't tell people what you need, they can't offer assistance. People WANT to help you. Let them.
Have a lactation specialist lined up before you give birth to help you immediately. Breast feeding is hard work, more than doubly so with two. But it is also more than doubly rewarding. It is not impossible to exclusively breast feed twins, but you need to be dedicated. Surround yourself with people who support you. If you can get it down from the start it is waaaay easier and less time consuming than preparing bottles all the time. Tandem feeding seems impossible at first - it's not. It is possible and it is freaking amazing. We have two boobs for a reason.
Do what works for you. Take advice with a grain if salt, especially from singleton parents. All babies are different, and all combos of twins are different. What might work for my boys might not work for yours and that's ok. You'll figure it out. That's what moms do.
Invest in a hospital-grade electric breast pump. You will need it. The Medela Symphony is a pretty standard choice. You can rent them, too. And get a pumping bra. Being able to pump with your hands free is essential with two babies to take care of. It looks freaky, but trust me. You will use it every day.
My boys are only four months so I'm still in the thick of it, but I have been told the first year is hell, but then it's way easier with two because they always have someone to keep them company. I can already see this. Trying to soothe two crying babies is incredibly stressful, but hearing two babies giggle, seeing two babies look at each other and babble and hold hands is the most precious thing ever. Twins are a very very special thing. Not everyone gets to experience it. Embrace it.
Your babies will always have someone rooting for them. They will always have someone looking out for them. They have a best friend from birth, from before birth! They have something that not a lot of people have and you gave it to them. One of my best friends is a twin and she told me by giving them each other I am giving them the best gift a mother can give. Be proud.
The absolute best piece of advice I received, which I wish I had really followed: spend as much time with your partner now, while the babies are safe and sound and quietly snuggled up inside you. Once they're here you and your partner will both always have a baby in your arms. The first few months all communication will revolve around babies so talk about other things now. Go out to eat, make out, watch movies, take walks just the two of you holding hands instead of a stroller, say "I love you" and mean it, do absolutely nothing, go to the zoo, cuddle and HAVE SEX! As much sex as you possibly can. Seriously.
Don't always put them in matching outfits. Encourage them to be their own person. But sometimes do put them in matching outfits. They are twins - encourage them to enjoy it. Plus it is adorable.
Some days you will feel like you love one more than the other. You don't. But it's ok to feel that way.
Some days they will feel like they love you or your partner more than the other. They don't. But it's ok for them to feel that way.
The most comforting words came from two different people right after we found out (at 21 weeks!!!). One told me she believed we choose our biggest challenges in life before we are born and that I must be a very strong woman for having chosen twins. I'm not sure I believe I chose this per se, but I do believe life doesn't ever give us more than we can handle, even if it sometimes seems that way. We always manage to rise to the occasion.
The second person was from Ghana. He told me where he comes from they say God takes a long look at your heart before you become pregnant. He said I must have an incredibly good heart to be blessed with two babies at once. I'm not religious, but I'd like to hope he was right.
Your heart will grow two sizes too big every damn day. Sometimes it will feel like too much love, and you will cry. Sometimes they will cry and you won't be able to figure out what's wrong and your heart will fall crooked, and it will feel like too much hurt, and you will cry. Don't worry, you will wake up the next morning (ok, at 3am, and then again at 5 and finally 6:30) and it will be right again, swollen a little bigger with love and pulsing strong in your chest. It will feel like too much love again, and you will cry. It seems like a lot - it is. Just breathe.
Trust your body. Trust your babies. Have faith in the universe. You are the exact right parent for these two new little people, and you can do this. And you will.
Welcome to the club. ;)
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