I'd heard a bit about this 100 happy days business, but honestly, I haven't ever been the best at social media (or social, in general, as many of my close friends can attest to). Posting a pic a day? Yeah, right. Generally my days fly by without me even realizing it. I'm lucky if I can pee once a day, let alone take a decent picture and post it.
I'm getting better. I'm working on awareness, on being in the moment, on patience, on slowing down, but I still have a long way to go.
Anyway, I was looking into this happy days stuff a couple of days ago and considered starting sometime soon, and then another damn tragedy hit our family of four. In the past 19 months:
- I have had our car broken into and my purse (including wallet, check book, phone, insurance cards, a super adorable polaroid of my hubby & me super pregnant in the park) stolen the night before my babies were born (and three credit cards used within an hour);
- I have had fraternal twin boys;
- I have had an incredibly and insanely dramatic, traumatic, and complicated birth;
- I have had one of my sons in the hospital for almost a month;
- I have had doctors tell me my son was going to die, was never going to breathe on his own, never take a bottle, never nurse, never crawl, never walk, never talk, never be functional, never be normal;
- I have had mastitis three times, including one five-day hospitalization;
- I have had a severely torn external sphincter and anal canal as a result of said hospitalization (it took nine months to heal; and a warning - that link is to a pretty graphic post);
- I have had my position as a French teacher in a before school enrichment program canceled when they decided to no longer teach French;
- I have had our car die, completely die beyond repair;
- I have moved into my mom's basement with my husband and two children, under the same roof as my mom, my grandparents, my mom's dog, and our two cats;
- I have been diagnosed with postpartum depression and post traumatic stress syndrome as a result of our crazy birth;
and then two days ago,
- I have had our bad-ass cat, Tippen (a present from a friend for our marriage, our original baby, who moved back to the States with us from France), get in an accident and have to have a leg amputated.
I'll post my 100 happy days here and sometimes might write a little blurb about what's going on or why or how I'm feeling. Feel free to follow on instagram or twitter or tumblr or pinterest, too, and look out for #madameishappy. (I'm trying to get better at media, I promise!)
I know I have a ways to go, but I've recently climbed out of the darkness and some day in the future I'm going to be completely, unconditionally, sublimely happy, damnit!!! <3